October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Sadly, bullying has become an epidemic in our society. Some studies of elementary school aged children have shown that nearly half of them reported being bullied at least once in the past month. The most common types of bullying are verbal and social which may not leave physical scars but do leave emotional scars. There is no doubt a correlation between the increase in bullying and the decrease of empathy. If we want our children to grow up to be kind and empathetic, we need to begin to teach and model these traits at a young age.

Empathy is the ability to understand and relate to someone else’s feelings. If you are the parent of a toddler or a preschooler, you know that this does not always come naturally for your child. Young children still see the world from one perspective – their own! They have a hard time understanding how their actions may affect someone else. As parents and caregivers of young children, there are things we can do to help them learn kindness and empathy.

“The earlier you start teaching your child about empathy, and the more you consistently model caring behavior, the better the chances are that your child will learn to treat others with empathy,” – Renelle Nelson, children’s mental health coordinator at PACER Center.

For starters, it is helpful to give children words to label their emotions and feelings. When they can begin to understand what their own feelings are, they will be better able to understand what someone else may be feeling.  For example, when you see that your child is sad, you can say – “I see that you are feeling sad because she took away your toy.”  Labeling their feelings and associating them with the cause will help your child understand the cause and effect of their own actions, as well.

Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and to listen to others talk about theirs. Feelings are a normal part of day-to-day life and learning to discuss them in a constructive way is important. Allow your child to hear you talk about your feelings. Show them how body language and facial expressions can communicate feelings. Respond to them when they are expressing their emotions and talk about how they can respond to others. When you read with them, discuss the feelings and responses of the characters in the stories you read. If you pay attention, you will find many opportunities to teach your child about feelings (their own and other’s) during the course of your day.

Watch for opportunities to catch your child showing empathy to someone else. When you see them acting thoughtful, let them know that you noticed and point out how their act of kindness made the other person feel. Find opportunities for them to show kindness to others through helpful and charitable acts. As the holidays approach, there are going to be many chances to practice charity with your child. If your child attends All Stars Montessori, the upcoming food shelf drive is a great way to teach your child about kindness. Be sure to involve them in the process and talk about how much their generosity will mean to someone else.

Teaching your child how to see the world through someone else’s eyes will go a long way towards helping them to be kind and empathetic. Teach them to be appreciative and to have good manners. Encourage them to honor and respect people’s differences. Remind them that the way they treat other people matters. And most importantly, model these behaviors for your child. Your child is much more likely to learn how to be empathetic and caring by watching you. It will take everyone working together to make our schools and our world a safer and kinder place.